MY BELOVED FATHER
Twenty-five years have passed since my father left this world, and not a single day went by without my remembering him. Such was his personality that generations to come will hardly believe such a divine personality existed in our family.
Born to a small zamindar family, he lost his mother at the age of 5, and was brought up by his step mother and his grandmother. His grandmother was very fond of him. He studied in the village school. He was a delicate and gentle child, very shy and everyone’s favorite.
Days went by, years passed. He went to Cuttack to complete his B.A. (graduation). Those days, India was under British rule. So, in spite of being a good student, he left his studies and joined the Quit India Movement in 1942.
When his grandfather heard this news, out of shock, he became bedridden. But when my father heard about his illness, he withdrew himself from the movement and returned to pursue his studies. A very bright student, he did his M.A. in Mathematics from the Calcutta University and was a gold medalist. Unlike today, being a very good student, he got a job before getting a degree and became a lecturer of Mathematics in Fakir Mohan College, Balasore.
Soon he got married to my mother, who came from a very rich aristocratic zamindar family. My mother used to claim that she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and was a bit egoistic unlike my father.
I am third among the three children in our family. When I was about to be born, my father went to the U.S. to do P.H.D. in mathematics. Those days it was not very easy to go abroad. At times, it could take months to reach the destination. Two years after I was born, he returned to India. I didn’t know about all this then, since I was too small.
As he was a very handsome looking man with a permanent smile on his face and a fair complexion, people used to say he looked like an American. However, being a Gandhian, the terylene and terycot shirts were converted into startched and ironed khadar shirts over time.
Time flew, and I grew up. I got married and left home. Only then, I could measure his greatness. Even now, at times, my daughter sometimes points out how I never forget my father. She wonders how come I remembered him more than any other family member. After all, I spent only 21 years at home (before marriage), after which I spent over 40 years with my husband, yet I utter my father’s name everyday with no reason. I myself don’t know how I can express my answer to this question.
However, this question compelled me to express my feelings. He was not only my father, he was everything for me - my friend, philosopher and guide. I have not seen God but I have put him in such a high position that no one can match him. So far, I have not remembered anything that he had told me which I didn’t do. I followed his advice without questioning in my mind. I followed him blindly.
At times my brothers also mention that if you put the good qualities of all the other family members on one side of the balance, and all the good qualities of my father on the other side, my father’s side would be heavier.
His kindness to the needy, the way of talking to elders and politeness are incomparable and his smiling face is unforgettable. We three siblings inherited very few of his qualities and cannot come near him. He was a Gandhian and an ardent follower of Sreema and Sri Aurobindo. He had volumes of books written by Sri Rama Krishna, Swami Vivekananda, Gandhi, Sreema, Sri Aurobindo, among many great personalities and spiritual leaders, which he would read at his leisure.
Many people were benefited in his company. He used to help people without any expectation of getting something in return. I’ve seen many of his childhood friends getting established with his monetary support.
However, these are very small aspects in judging him. I've never seen another person like him. He's beyond comparison. I always feel blessed to have a father like him. He was not only my father but my spiritual guide as well. My endeavor towards spirituality is all because of him. The bonding between me and him was so strong, it never allowed me to forget him in spite of his passing away 25 years back. He was really a great personality who went unnoticed and unrecognized. He always remains my super hero. I might have found a prince in my life but my father will always be the king in my heart.
(Written on the 25th death anniversary of my father Prof. Dr. Bhubananda Ray, who retired after thirty eight years of distinguished, unblemished service as a Professor of Mathematics and an Education administrator. Loved by all, he remains for ever in the hearts of his students, colleagues and family members.)
Sunanda Pradhan is an enterprising lady who keeps interest in various facets of life. She wants to be amidst nature whenever given an opportunity, whether it is on top of a calm mountain or beside a tranquil sea beach. Perhaps those moments help her in expressing herself the best. She likes to spend her time taking care of her balcony garden and reading books on philosophy. She also enjoys the fun moments spent with her two grandsons and teaches them the values of life.
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